I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
They took my balls.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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