That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
