You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
