they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
