No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
operation harelip BJ is a go
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
