why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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