I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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