I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
