You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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