I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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