Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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