Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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