Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
