I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
