I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
