God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
