dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
