he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
