Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
