This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
