I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
