Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Its about making memories worth repressing
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
