i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
