you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
