first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
