My room smells like vodka and shame
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
