Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
