I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
