apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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