what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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