I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
