If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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