I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
