I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
