i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
