I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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