all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
