How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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