the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
