On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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