Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I can't turn off my feet"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
