I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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