Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
