those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
