I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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