he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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