Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
