you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
