The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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