we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
