it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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