He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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